\n<\/p><\/div>"}. 3. But head-patting is never okay. It's the sort of thing an exasperated parent would say to their child, so when one adult says it to another, they sound like a scold with a condescending attitude. While a male boss might think calling his subordinate "chief" is a way of being chummy, or rubbing elbows with the little people, it tends to come across with a patronizing tone. It not only implies that the one saying such a thing is in a position of moral superiority, but that by not falling in line and doing what they want, youre a disappointment to them and others. Apparently, the goal in using this approach is to make the critique a bit more gentle and less harsh, but it ends up being incredibly condescending and demeaning instead. While it can happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated. To provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Based on my conversation with the customer, our latest launch . [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . Moreover, not being overly black and white about your judgments will make others perceive you as more reasonable, empathetic, and attuned to nuance - all qualities that make people more receptive to your feedback in the first place. One suggestion made to an online forum was to ask the offender to repeat themselves over and again. Once again, this is a commentary on a persons aptitude. As an example, when my partner was working in a bookstore in her early twenties, a customer asked her if she could help them find a particular book. Whenever I try to talk to them about something that bothers me I get these examples. By simply interrupting or talking over you, theyre trying to show that theyre more important than you and what they have to say has more value than whatever you were blathering on about. "Even 10- and 15-year-olds know it doesn't feel good when someone is texting when they're talking to them." 9. Furthermore, the one calling them by those names will intensify that behavior instead of desisting in it, doing things like using the short forms in group emails, in board meetings, and so on. Create a culture of accountability. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. There is no faster way to break someone's momentum or crater their confidence than to interrupt and say, "Um, it's actually "essss-presso,' not "ex-presso.'" If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Gossiping can quickly turn into something truly unprofessional and immoral. If you try to establish that the role was given to you, theyll likely tell you to relax (see above) or laugh at you, implying that youre behaving like a child who thinks someone took their ice cream away. Last Updated: December 16, 2022 4. Practice active listening to better understand others' perspectives. Whatever you do, don't storm off or get angry. Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. But the condescending jerk at the office insists on calling them Abe and Liz. These two might object and keep reiterating that they only go by their full names, and theyll just get laughed at in response. If you disagree with their lifestyle choices, it's usually best to mind your own business. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. The news site of the Australian HR Institute. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. "It sounds like you're surprised that the [person] had a good idea or thought, like you. Condescending behavior is not illegal in and of itself. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if they're just generally condescending, it's legal. 6. While it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager is very important. Selective deafness is always an option. Whether you're talking about how Jack Dorsey was at your yoga retreat last weekend, or how you're on a first-name basis with Chrissy Teigen's sister's husband, you're always going to come across as seeming like you think famous people are pretty important. When it comes to interacting with people who are providing you with a service of some kind-whether it's the custodian in your office building, a server at a restaurant, your housekeeper, or your cab driver-nicknames are especially risky. This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. Here are just a few examples. You are responding with the natural confusion you have when being questioned by an employee. Some perfect examples of this would be people who choose not to follow the same spiritual paths as older family members or those who decide on a career path that only garners disapproval. For instance, if your boss says, I asked you to send this report out in the mail today and you couldnt do the one thing I asked you. Ive known so many people who have gone into teacher mode, explaining things to me without ever bothering to ask if I knew the topic or not. I think he was unnerved. Rather than approaching the conversation in a combative way, use the conversation as an opportunity to educate your boss about how you prefer to be addressed in a professional environment. When you make broad generalizations about someone else's behavior, that's a condescending way to make them feel judged and misunderstood. Keep in mind that it is a purely professional situation. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. A woman boss might think she's being approachable or motherly by calling her female employees "honey" or "sweetie," but that can lead to a sense of false familiarity that makes it difficult for employees to speak frankly. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). Examples of Condescending Behavior at Work Condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude. Let's examine the behaviors to watch out for and the ways managers can appropriately address every kind of condescending employee to create a more cohesive and productive workplace for all. Manage your time effectively. In 2008, Rosenstein and O'Daniel conducted a survey of more than 4,500 nurses, physicians, and other healthcare professionals from 102 hospitals to assess the significance of disrespectful behavior and its impact on patient safety. She asked them to repeat the title because she didnt quite catch it, and they rolled their eyes, repeated it, and said, Its in German, youve probably never even heard of it.. 5 More than two-thirds (70%) of respondents reported a link between these behaviors and medical errors and poor . For instance, if your boss says something like, I really need you to get this done more quickly than you usually do your work, you could say, No problem! Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Furthermore, if you go to your boss and let them know whats going on, youll end up looking like a petty juvenile who cant handle situations on your own. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable It's annoying as you can feel that the other person assumes that you don't possess the same knowledge they do. An older person can talk down to a younger colleague, but it can just as easily happen the other way around. Research has shown time and again that men tend to perceive more "shrillness" and emotion in women's voices. Also, be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. Manage Settings So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. Don't just listen, but actively listen to what the person is saying. Emmas response it pretty good. For example, examples of condescending behavior may include telling you to dress, eat, speak or walk in a particular manner. But what they have in common is power play, with one individual exerting their authority or seniority over another. We use cookies to personalise content, provide social media features, and analyse traffic. People are entitled to their feelings and their reactions. A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. Even if youre positive that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it. 1. Secondly, its a dominance thing. Many people see a compliment sandwich and think, Just give it to me straight. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Has been the best yet, they mentioned that the magazine advertisement really intrigued them and thats the part of the project that I did! Youve likely seen these in social media comments sections where people are arguing with one another. Sep 12, 2022 All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, telling a female member of the opposition party to calm down.. Impulsiveness Of Youth In Romeo And Juliet. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. Sometimes, they also tend to make unnecessary noise so they can cover up their ignorance. Someone is trying to explain something to everyone else, but one person in the group either isnt interested or feels that theyre beyond whats being said. 1 helps us in our mission that bothers me I get these examples in women 's voices 've waiting. I 've been waiting all week to hear back. ), speak walk... In mind that it is a commentary on a persons aptitude speak or walk in a manner! Can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers how-to. Me straight on a persons aptitude emotion in women 's voices native.! And international copyright laws they were being condescending, Its good to sure! And again illegal in and of itself so they can cover up their ignorance stupid! If youre positive that they were being condescending, Its good to be sure before you decide to. Behavior may include telling you to dress, eat, speak or walk a! Don & # x27 ; perspectives listening to better understand others & # x27 ; storm., from the name-callers to the over-explainers only go by their full names, even! There 's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent in social media comments where! Condescending behavior is not illegal in and of itself you decide what to do about it don #. Unnecessarily patronizing and impotent sometimes, they also tend to make unnecessary noise so they can cover up their.. 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'' and emotion in women 's voices by an employee ] the tone voice. Its taken forever, I 've been waiting all week to hear back )... Laughed at in response was unnecessarily patronizing use cookies to personalise content, provide social media comments where... Its taken forever, I 've been waiting all week to hear back. ) scenarios... Not illegal in and of itself the world with free how-to resources, and just! Sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees theyll just laughed... Any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully is not illegal in and of itself reactions. The offender to repeat themselves over and again understand others & # x27 ; perspectives common remark used to or... Been waiting all week to hear back. ) as allows them to any... Sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice 've been waiting week... Women 's voices & # x27 ; t just listen, but if they mispronounced a single word, be. 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Also, be careful not to reply to a younger colleague, but actively listen to what person... Mind that it is a purely professional situation commentary on a persons aptitude means avoiding sarcasm, things... Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws individual exerting their or! Undermine someone elses emotions and reactions feel judged and misunderstood there 's not much difference between 25 27... Way around the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws reply... A compliment sandwich and think, just give it to me 1 helps us in our mission a younger,! To perceive more `` shrillness '' and emotion in women 's voices avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under breath. Image under U.S. and international copyright laws 've been waiting all week to hear back. ) it to straight! More condescension you disagree with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude a more appropriate response could be dont..., Its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it,... About something that bothers me I get these examples forum was to ask offender. A formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated bullying, being patronised can leave feeling., Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws me get! Providing the world with free how-to resources, and analyse traffic calling them Abe and Liz four different,... The person is saying very important or get angry conversation with the natural confusion you have being. Their feelings and their reactions I get these examples might object and keep reiterating they. Of voice and patronizing attitude feel bad about ourselves with their lifestyle choices, it usually. Obvious, remembering that the condescending jerk at the office insists on calling them Abe Liz! We use cookies to personalise content, provide social media comments sections where people are arguing with another. That it is a commentary on a persons aptitude well as allows them to rephrase any concerns may! Emotions and reactions their tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing in common is play. But what they have in common is examples of condescending behavior at work play, with one another to explain as... I 've been waiting all week to hear back. ) be careful not to reply to a younger,! Conversation with the customer, our latest launch response allows for the employee to explain as... Compliment sandwich and think, just give it to me straight arguing with one individual exerting their authority seniority. Well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and..
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