A lot of times my boyfriend has realised he did it on purpose to hurt and he regrets his words right after. He was blowing me off each and every time. Im certain when he got up in the middle of the night drunk and angry because I was trying to cuddle and woke him up (he got dressed and turned all the lights on to start manically cleaning the house) that he probably threw them in the garbage. Start by letting go slowly. He doesnt know how to express himself anymore. Weve been together for 5 years. My boyfriend was CEO of the company when I know him, we both were very attracted to each other, but some how we missed the chance. Hes making a shit ton of money now and its (seems to be) working out well so Id have thought his aside, mood, all that Stress effecting his energy and sex drive .. Would have gotten better. he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, it was boring and dull. I realized he was not the man for me. It is too immature an attitude for a 56 year old intelligent man. Nothing. They are both in their 40s and are so happy to find each other. but again i was stupid and foolish.. i was so considerate to him that i believed that things will be different this time. He didnt even make an effort to see me or plan anything the week before he went out of town. I love him so so much and I LOVE spending time with him. Its not just a lack of attention. But hes not very ambitious and is a homebody which Im sure comes from pot smoking, makes u lazy. Ignoring a guy to get his attention is really about not giving up time for yourself and the things that make you happy. Please take some money you get from promotion and go to Counseling to help you. We still work on a project together so its not like I can just cut contact entirely, which I figured might be the reason why he is continuing to text, like he doesnt want things to get uncomfortable between us. You need to allow yourself to do something else. We lived together in my apartment for about a year & a half. 58 here and it was us as the major priority for 3 solid yrs.. and now in our 4th yr. it has changed. I asked him again he did not reply back.. now the whole time we have been dating I have been the one to travel back and forth with my son to see him. BALANCE comes easier for women vs. men but does not mean we have to settle. You should definitely read the book why men love b*tches this really goes into depth on why men do that. Dont end up like me. he only paid for me once and he never surprises me with dates or buy gifts. But we continued texting and he just ghosted me. We met online and in a long distance relationship and we have not met in person. He says he doesnt want to text and show love and tells me to be patient. He really hurt me in the past (when we werent together) regarding other girls but hes never actually done anything when weve been going out. Im scared to tell him that I dont feel like we talk or text enough because I feel like thats already a red flag. This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. but is a single text or a goodmorning too much to ask? He told me the other day if you dont like the way I am, then leave me. I cant meet anyone else because everyone else doesnt want to be in relationships just sex or they are talking to other girls. its just do not putting attention at all. what is the project you have to work on together . Then he complains when I dont cook dinner after working 10 hours a day, I work four-10 hour days, and says all I know how to cook is chicken, which Im a great cook, he is just too lazy to do anything what so ever. This person called me a name during a fight, even after I said that Im not here for that. I am the first gf my bf ever had and theres only so much I can pin on that reason. But there were also a couple of red flags like he wouldnt make concrete plans with me ahead of time, he would just tell me Saturday afternoon that he was ready for me to come over if I wanted. I dont know what to do anymore. Boy bye. He just plays it off as nothing serious unless Im breaking down crying. Anything and Everything in hopes he would think maybe he should do the same. Im fed up of being sad all the time and just want to be happy and feel loved again. When I do, its the absolute bare minimum or just a bunch of excuses. Any advice please? 6 Ways to Revive Your Relationship. I decided I deserve to be treated with love and respect. I felt once again unappreciated. But I genuinely hope this would be of help (to you and to anyone whos going through a similar scenario). He bought her a Mothers Day card. Its hard for me to talk about it with him because he gets sensitive but he doesnt show it. I just see so many girls that have boyfriends who do so much to keep them happy, it just feels like my boyfriend stopped trying. I dont want a father figure, i want a man that i love to show love to me. We dont laugh as much as we used too. I learned that my in my boyfriends past relationships he always go and pick up her girldfriend at work and wait for her without asking anything And i feel that he puts more effort to her past relationship, but to me he will ask first should I pick you up? Or would you want to go out? , I feel like there is no initiative or he doesnt want to see me at all. 88 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple. We just dont talk the same way that we used to. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. Its less taxing on my emotional self to stay lonely. Now i think ill do my best to be nice to him for some time and if he doesnt change i leave him.. Is it ok for wait and see for his cahnge? Would you like to come along? I then left home and came back a later day. This leaves us hanging on in hopes they will be that guy again. My guys tells me there is someone else, hes changed so much over the last year I hardly even recognise him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt too many times. I asked him why he didnt and I wasnt yelling I only needed just an explanation. But he makes time for his boys and gaming everyday. Everything I say he interprets as me hating him. This person flakes when we have plans even after I said that Im not here for that. Hes lacking in performance and I feel unwanted, again I been communicating and his reason is thats why him and his ex got tired of each other & he doesnt need sex everyday. I met my boyfriend this summer (July) through my bestfriend and I met him through snap (he was 18 and he doesnt go to school and I am a junior in highschool. I do want to believe its because of all his family issues that all this is happening but I am well known for making excuses for boyfriends when things arent right. He was pursuing and attentive at first, expressed that he wanted a committed monogamous relationship, and did little things like bringing me gifts, making sure I had water at night when I stayed over, giving me a sweatshirt of his to wear in the morning, just little attentive kind things. My brother did tell me that he may be going through some things in his personal life that he is not ready to share with me. He said he wants to make this relationship work but he cant even communicate which is important. Is he older? In the beginning of the relationship is when everything should be perfect. One thing I have learnt over the years is that we shouldnt let our kindness be a weakness in front of men. I feel you. He started withdrawing from me after I asked him 2-3 times to hang out and do things with me. and he would say yeah we should, and then nothing. But if you have no idea why your boyfriend stopped making an effort in your relationship, talk to him. Maybe what they need to here is (as an example)- Im not feeling like a priority to you, and therefore what I need is for you to make dinner with me one night this week so we can reconnect.. There could be many reasons why your partner is not showing you the affection you desire, and according to therapist, dating and relationship coach and former matchmaker Lauren Korshak, one major reason could be that they are suffering from a crisis. My fiance, my 12 year old son, and i have been living together a second time(in his house). Like by shouting Im gonna get scared or intimated. Last week he finally invited me over to his house after not seeing him for almost two weeks when he had his daughter. But theres one time where I got really mad and told him what i feel about everything and he said he was sorry and he tell me how much he loves me. "I stopped trying altogether," he said. He studies in a university and was about to graduate when the lockdown began. Even on weekends hes working and most days he cant even have dinner at home with me bc his other entrepreneur jobs are calling. Take matters into your own hands.be who you need for yourself, Love you and your son enough to care for your own needs. he said its his karma for leaving me behind. Lastly, he is obsessed with social media. Thank you for what you said because not only do I relate to the emotional and psychological effects, I relate to the not wanting your house to look or smell like a GARBAGE CAN!!!! We are the prize, we have to make them earn us. I love him to death, and I know he loves me. do you have to have contact for this. His brother lives for free with his mother and he has nothing but contempt for him over it. It seems ridiculous, but overachievers will develop workaholic habits and then feel guilty for doing something that they enjoy that isnt more work. When Im on call to family he interupts every time. Those arent just low relationship expectations, theyre unhealthy patterns of behavior. Is he back with me to punish me or hes still holding back because of the break up and I just need to wait? He said he was my family and I took that wholeheartedly. There may be more social pressure on men to be the ones who go after women, but hes got feelings too. Hi My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and weve lived together for 3.5 of those years. yes I did give myself to him.he was my first.. and it was the second time I snuck out but I did everything for him and I get ignored. My boyfriend recently broke up with me. I used to brag up the fact that he was one of those guys who would actually reply to all of a lengthy message so to speak but lately he ignores a lot of whats said as if he just doesnt care. Ive communicated everything and yet nothing. Its hard for me to let go and try when he is not trying enough and only notices the negative things. They say age shouldnt matter, but it does play a part. BUT both have to put in the work and if its not happening the work then its not happening and we are settling. You have to accept the current man in front of you and decide how you want to move forward with who he is in the moment not who he was in the past. Hes now working at a new job since Jan and its great! I love him very much, he often talks about our future, kids and stuff but he isnt willing to do any sacrifices for the relationship. And so on. Write in your journal or diary, or share in the comments section below. Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. Okay it became a longer answer than I expected! Get away from him immediately! Its confusing because he takes care of me by buying me food and we hangout all the time but theres 0 affection. Are circumstances in your boyfriends life affecting how he relates to you and others? I feel like he doesnt love me as much as he used to. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 8 years and have three kids together. My boyfriend and me zoomed and emailed and he moved from job to job. If he wants to make an effort to come visit you a few times you can see hes pulling his weight. Also, and Im not materialistic by any means, hes offered to buy me lots of things or even just give me money to help with bills. I came across a guy who seemed familiar but had a different name. any improvement? Listen to your intuition, it never lies. I thought hed at least try to make a plan. He brought me back the same time as last time. I try to sit and talk about things and he rejects or belittles my input. Hes sees things in one paranoid way only, that Im selfish and dont really love him and just like the things he can give me. I dont want to talk about marriage or kids or the future. He said the reason we broke up was because of different love languages, arguing, and that he was not as emotionally available as I need him to be. I am struggling to deal with mine and have decided to back away, which is hard, however I want to see if he makes an effort when Im no longer at his beckon call all the time. But all I want from him is a simple hug. We had romantic dates and fell in love at first sight. I love this guy so much but I dont know what else to do, I dont want to live without him we have gotten so serious pretty fast. I feel stuck, tired and so vary heavy like every step I take is being pulled back by large bricks as everyone else passes by at a much faster rate. I felt like I would never find anyone else who would want me, this douche bag was as good as I was ever going to get. 7 years this month, no anniversary, didnt even notice actually. Mildly work related topics but no reason for the call other than chat and vent. By lack of effort I mean that its almost like pulling teeth to get him to plan weeks ahead to figure out when we will be able to see eachother. He lost his dad, my nana nearly died and now needs constant care then her partner died and now this lockdown. If your S.O. I think women pick up on subtleties and there is something up. I wish he understood how confused and unloved this makes me feel. We dont speak much Im very busy cleaning cooking dealing with kids and studying and in his opinion Im too busy and he feels like I have my own things going on when really, he could take a load of me. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? I found the place, set up the lease. He has his mum doing everything for him. Honestly he may need some space. But its weird because he texts me good morning every day, asks how my day is throughout the day, sends me updates on everything he is doing, etc. But he says that I am the person he wants to build a family with and take care of our children someday. work game sleep. doesn't pay attention to you, and they're not fully present when youre together. Unless he drank to much then he was argumentative and yucky. Im sorry. He also said he wanted to get married also but here we are and here I am still unmarried. I sometimes think my expectations are too high. Its 90 degrees out so I thought Id stay cool and look a little less like I live in a dumpster. I suppose its not at all about him but when I have time to think, my mind goes to him. And you need to figure out why youre not asking him to treat you better. When I try to talk to him about my feelings he never ever knows how to react and just completely closes off from me. Any thoughts ppl? I dont feel like I really know him at all. Hi, I really need help/advice Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9months and we really do love each other but a couple weeks ago we just didnt talk as much or communicate in person & I asked him if he wants this relationship and he said hes lost feelings for me (but he doesnt know and his heads abit lost) and it doesnt feel like were together anymore because the conversation is dead. I guess in the end we need to decide if hes worth all this heartache. I'm Laurie, creator of Uprooted She Blossoms and author of Growing Forward When You Can't Go Back. The problem is, everyone around me has boyfriends that are going the extra mile to make sure their girlfriends feel loved at this time. His emotions are totally unregulated. I spend half my time daydreaming about being actually taken care of by someone. He has free accommodation, food, gas, sexy times, meals cooked, washing done etc. I dont know if you have or not, but try just letting him spill his heart out to you about his feelings. Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. WebHe gets upset when he sees me giving attention to other guys but goes back to ignoring me when I give him attention. Also he NEVER wants to have sex so that concerns me too. But Im not certain its not because he now wants to hurry to get the house finished and sell it while the market is hot. I told him about how I felt scared I looked too nerdy in my full protection hear and helmet and everyone else wasnt wearing any. Even though he always said he would try. The point Im trying to make is, if you settle for mistreatment and excuses for why its ok, youll only end up resentful and unable to trust anyone again. I feel like my heart is breaking already, just waiting for the dreaded phone call to say he cant give me what I want when Ive said all I want is some time together an hour here or there, some texts to show he cares I dont feel its much but if its too much for him then I guess I need to accept things. We just never did anything like that alone. Ive mentioned his lack of effort and he did take it on bored but recently Im seeing a slip into his old ways. I really need an outlet! I do still love him, and have a lot of nice moments with him, and great memories. These are no games. Hopefully, these reasons will let you know the answer if you are wondering why did he stop talking to me. I am right there with you and share very similar feelings. I am struggling with my current relationship, I love him, but I have the thoughts of him being a narcissist, player or using meThanks. Its comforting knowing others face the same issues. He cheated on me and the worst part is that he left like me a cigarette butt. Then they show us who they really are and we dont want to see. Fine, dont come. WebiStock. Letting go means opening your heart and being your true self in all aspects of your life whether youre in a healthy relationship or starting over after a breakup. I start to think that maybe he is cheap and he doesnt want to spend money having a meal in a nice restaurant because we didnt go out for a proper dinning experience. (Probably why she fell in love with another man) now its like he is determined for me to not become selfish. surprisely right after I unblocked him he sent me a message saying hi and hows life? I cannot communicate with him. You, me, and probably thousands of other girls are in the same boat right now with the Coronavirus. Till then, you should be determined not to commit to anything or anyone. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. Hi Beyza! I had to get off and go hang with my friends and so I was trying to say bye but what really came out was I have to go..I love you..bye I dint hang up yet because I realized I said the L word lol and he was like shocked and I got scared. I have brough up some of the issues and he acts clueless and doesnt know what to do. When a partner is heavily distracted by other commitments, tasks, stress, and anxiety, they may find it too challenging to redirect their attentionand they may even be so wrapped up that your needs don't even register. I COME HOME AT 6 PM AND THE TRASH IS STILL THERE. Meaning me. Now, what do I *do*? OR 2) He just might not care at all. Idk what to do anymore. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Then nothing. He has made me realize a lot of my flaws and made me seek my inner self to understand why I am the way I am. And think about the other person not just about yourself. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. I said sorry like 4 times before I hung up. The worst thing you can do is become a desperate, emotionally suffocating girlfriend who is scared to lose her boyfriend. Somehow I always felt that he did it because of something I did. 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